Ever felt like you need to converse with someone—but not sure who? Not a friend. Not family. Just someone outside of it all.

That’s usually when the idea of a counsellor comes in. Maybe the thought of sharing your emotions has crossed your mind once or twice.

Or maybe something happened that left you feeling a bit off. Not broken. Just not quite yourself. Maybe you’ve even caught yourself thinking, “Do I really need to talk to someone?”

Not having a clear answer? Leave it. The idea of opening up can feel strange. You don’t want advice from a script.

You want someone who really gets you. But how are you able to identify that support? What makes one counsellor feel safe—and another feels like a dead end?

Let’s break that down in this blog. 

1. They give you their full attention

A good counsellor doesn’t multitask in their mind. You’ll feel it when someone’s fully present. They’re not checking the time or jumping to conclusions. They’re listening to you. Not just your words—but your pauses, tone, and even what you’re holding back.

This kind of presence makes a difference. It allows you to be frank and confident.

2. They don’t try to “fix” you

Counselling isn’t about being fixed. You’re not a machine that needs repair.

A great counsellor knows that. They won’t give you a list of instructions to follow. They’ll sit with you while you untangle things. They’ll ask questions, not take over the story. Their role is to walk beside you, not lead the way.

3. You feel safe being honest

This one’s big.

You should feel like you can say what you really mean. Even the messy stuff. Even those things that are big or uncomfortable.

Great counsellors create a space where you don’t feel judged. They don’t get shocked easily. They understand that every person has layers. And they know that trust grows when there’s room for honesty.

4. They don’t rush silence

Ever been in a conversation where silence feels awkward? Like you have to fill it right away?

Not in a good counselling session.

Ever sit there and just need a second? Good counsellors give you that. No pressure to talk right away. They don’t jump in. They give you that space. And often, what comes after a quiet moment is something real.

5. They handle emotions with care

Let’s be real. Sometimes you might cry. Or get frustrated. Or say something that surprises even you.

A steady counsellor won’t react with discomfort. They won’t panic or shrink away. They’ll stay grounded—so you can fall apart if you need to, and still feel supported.

Their calm helps you come back to yourself.

6. They grow with the work

Good counsellors don’t act like they’ve got it all figured out.

They read. They learn. They reflect. Some even explore new tools. For example, Neuralive Counselling & Neurofeedback brings together therapy and brain-based support, which shows how counsellors can keep expanding their skills.

Learning isn’t a phase for them—it’s part of how they show up for you.

7. You feel heard, not handled

This one’s subtle—but you’ll know the difference.

Being heard means the counsellor sees you, not just your situation. They don’t treat you like a case or a checklist. They don’t jump to “solutions” before understanding what’s underneath.

You feel it in the way they respond. With care. With curiosity. With real presence.

8. They respect your pace

There’s no stopwatch in therapy. A great counsellor won’t rush your journey.

You don’t need to dive into everything in the first session—or even the fifth. You are in charge of the timing and things you reveal. A good counsellor gets that. They won’t steer you somewhere you’re not ready to go. Instead, they’ll notice your signals. Follow your lead. Let things unfold when you feel safe.

Because healing isn’t a race. It’s a process. And your timing matters.

Wrapping up 

Sometimes, the first person you talk to might not feel genuine and connected. That happens normally.

But when someone feels steady, present, and easy to open up to—you’ll feel the difference. The session might not be easy—but it’ll feel real. Like someone’s walking with you instead of ahead of you.

If you’re exploring options—maybe you’ve heard of Victoria Counsellors or looked into local practices—just take your time. Read profiles. Ask questions. Trust how you feel in that first meeting.

You’re not expected to figure everything out at once. You’re just starting. And that’s already something.